Love or Loveless?
by xdirtyXblackx
Summary: what's happing now? have Soubi and Ritsuka's relationship developed or has it stay the same? one thing hasn't changes and thats his mother's violent traits. Soubi would like nothing more than put an end to it but what can he do? he cant disobay Ritsuka
1. Chapter 1

a few years have past since the fight between the two brother's what happing now? is their relationship still the same? or will it develop into something they both never thought could happen?

this is written from Soubi's point of view. (please keep in mind, this is my first fanfic so please don't be to harsh on me if it's bad)

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CHAPTER 1

Flash Back

_It's been the whole day and I've only managed to apply a few marks upon my canvas, I'm constantly looking at my watch to determine how much time I have left till... well till I have to pick Ritsuka up. He's not expecting me, nor does he even know who I am but I would like to surprise him with a worm welcoming, sine he hasn't come in search for me as of yet. _

"_Sou-chan, what are you doing? You've only made a few marks, you know the teacher wont like that if it's not handed in on time. You always have a habit with doing this sort of thing; keep your mind focused on the work!"_

"_Oh Kio, you know I've never fail to hand in work by its due by date, so don't worry". Kio, probably the only friend I have. Though it wasn't by chose, more buy force. _

"_Sou-chan, are you listing? Hurry up and paint" Kio screamed raising his voice above the class. At this point in time I once again averted my eyes from the canvas to my watch, it was time. Kio screaming in the background, I lifted myself off of the stool while swiftly picking up my back and phone and headed for the door. _

"_SOU-CHAN! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" Kio still screaming at the top of his lounges, little did he know that he was making a huge scene in the art room and that everyone at this point have now had their eyes fixed directly on Kio. I hadn't cared nor notice Kio and the rest, I just simple ignored everyone and walked out the door. _

_Good I had five minutes remaining before twelve-o'clock, before school finishes... before I finally get to meet Ritsuka, Seimei's younger brother. I wonder what he's like. I've only ever heard stories about him through Seimei. The way he used to talk about his little brother was in oar; it would at time seem that Seimei used to think that an immaculate world would only consist of him and Ritsuka. _

_I thought as I'm waiting out front with a few minutes left; I might as well pull out a cigarette. Placing one in my mouth as I light the small white skinny stick filled with comical, I took a deep drag while relaxing against the wall in front of the high-school. _

_Not long after my first or second drag, there came the noise of the bell. 'Hmmmm, I wonder if I should get rid of the smoke. What if he doesn't like smokers'? I thought to myself as I turned around keeping my eyes fixed upon the crowed of children running around in order to get home. Carefully scanning the crowed in search for Ritsuka was a tad harder than I thought all I had was photo to go by and stories, but what help are stories when looking for someone? _

_Sure enough, not after too long my eyes had locked on to a small boy running as tears streamed down his face, his black messy hair waving in the wind with every step he took, this had to Ritsuka, it just had to be._

_He's perfect porcelain skin shined like silk under the sun gaze, the only thing detracting from the boy's beautiful face was the bandages the where placed at random. One on his cheek, another on his forehead; which I had only got a glimpse at when his head moved from the fast movement of his footsteps that carried his toward to the front gates of the school. Yes this is Ritsuka. _

_Seimei used to tell me about the horror stories in which his mother used to do to his little brother. It seems still now, after his brother's death, this vial act was continuing and now that Seimei is gone, Ritsuka has no one to protect him. My heart felt like braking, this poor boy, what a tough time he must be going through. Though from now on this will change, it's I who will now protect this small boy to whatever come his way to harm him, I will fight for him, I will protect him, and I will love him. These are the words he said to me. "Soubi, if I shell die, you'll be Ritsuka's fight unit" and not long after, Seimei was gone from this beautifully world. Seimei's words are absolute, even after death he still controls me._

_That day was the first time I meet Ritsuka and the beginning of something far greater than I ever expected, something I never thought could have been possible in my wildest dreams. If I were to be sent back in time to do everything again, from the beginning, there wouldn't be a thing in the world I would change, because every act that had happened in the past three years have only brought me closer to my true purpose in life. To be reborn, to serve and fight as Loveless's fighter unit._

_End of flash back_

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**1.30am, 1 year later (after vol 8)**

'Buzz, Buzzz' the sound of my phone which awoken me from my deep sleep was ringing. Slowly turning over, I rummaging around on my bead side table that had mess scattered all over it, to answer my cell that was creating an agitating sound. Then all of a sudden I felt this painful calling coming from within my head. Ritsuka's voice, he's calling me.

From Ritsuka calling and the buzzing noise coming from my phone, my heart could only sink to the deepest part of my body. I just know something wasn't right for Ritsuka to be calling not only my name but my phone as well. Trying hard to find the phone, which only a few seconds later I had possessed in my hand I quickly answered.

"Sou.....Soubi..... p..p..please help" Before I could even speak, my body had swung itself out of the bed and was halfway toward the door, grabbing a shirt along the way as I listened to the painful cry of Ritsuka on the other end of the line. He's voice were like daggered slicing through his word before he could even pronouns them.

"Ritsuka, I'm on my way, what's...." I stopped from another voice in the background of Ritsuka phone.

"This will be the last time you'll ever disobey me, you imposter.......... beep beep beep"

This wasn't good, his mother had yet again lost her control, and the only outlet of her aggression was focused on poo innocent Ritsuka. I just needed to get there, forcing every little smidgen of will in my body to encourage my legs to carry me further and quicker as I ran out of my apartment and down the street, towards the insane house that had my little Ritsuka held captive with his abusive mother.

I couldn't think, no I didn't want to think about what dreadful things his mother was doing to him at this point in time I wasn't there. It's not like I don't know about his mother and her illness or how she abuses him, but somehow it had developed to much more than a cut here or a bruise there. Lately it has been several cut and slashed, above masses of bruises (blue and purple) that covered his body from head to foot. I'm quite surprised not one person has yet noticed about his increasing wounds upon his body, but yet again Ritsuka has always hidden them well, making sure they are not notable to the eye unless you look really close.

"Not much longer, only a block away" I whispered through my deep panting breath. My heart was pounding with every step that took me closer to Ritsuka; I was defiantly dreading the sight I would soon see Ritsuka's poor body in, but I couldn't think of that now, squinting my eyes as I lowering my head to move fast in pursuit towards his house.

Soon as I had turned the corner of Ritsuka's house, pushing myself to go fast in order to save my Ritsuka as soon as possible. I pulled the key of his house that Ritsuka had once given me long ago out of my pock, to which will soon be pushed into the key lock of the front door. Once the door was unlocked I slammed it open, not worrying about closing it behind me as I set my concentration in darted up the stair towards Ritsuka's bedroom. As I came to his door I hear crying sobs coming from behind, followed by the sound of banging against the wall. Not hesitating, I slammed the door once more as I entered as quickly as possible.

My eyes darted across the room in search for Ritsuka's injured body; it only took a few seconds before I could process the situation. Ritsuka's mother was across the room, curled up in a fettle position banging her own head against the wall. It almost sound like she was chanting some sort of spell but it was far from it.

"You're not Ritsuka, you're not Ritsuka, you not Ritsuka..." she continued to repeat as each followed with the slamming of her head against the wall.

From Ritsuka's mother, my eyes soon were being lead by a trail of small blood droplets on the carpet. Leading from the mentally unstable mother to around the end of the bed to... to a pair of feet that where sticking out from behind the other side of the room. Nothing could have prepared me for seeing Ritsuka in the state he was.

Ignoring the insane mother who continued to slam he head up against the wall (who had not even realising I had entered the room) I ran towards the bed to see Ritsuka body lying in a lifeless manner on the floor, my heart sunk deep than it already had before. Tears were swelling up from my tear ducks uncontrollably as I kneeled down to wrap my arm around his fragile little body. The sight was too hard to bear, if I hadn't needed to attend to Ritsuka right then and there, I surly would have done something deplorable to his mother.

"Ritsuka... can you hear me" whispering closely to his ear as a few drops of sadness escaped from my eye, to only land on his bloodstained cheek. As I examined him, making sure he was surly breathing, I then quickly skimmed over his body to see how deep the cuts and laceration were before make a clear note that it was safe to move his limp body that was pail white.

"Soubi....." he moaned as my name was forced through his lips with what little breath he could muster.

"It's alright Ritsuka, I'm here now, your safe" trying to fight back all the emotions I was feeling all at once, as I held him gently like a little child in my arms. The small little kitten, Ritsuka with all his might snuggled his head deep into my chest as I slowly walked down the stairs.

"your..... wo... worm Soubi...." he came again as he exhaled into me. I tightened my grip around him; brining his badly injured body closer to mine to share the heart between us. This way he wouldn't feel the harshness of the cold that would engulf him as we exited his home into the pitch blackness of the night sky back to my apartment.

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Once we had arrived at the bottom of my apartment it had already turned 2:30 in the morning. As I started too walked up the set of stair I heard little Ritsuka mumble a few words. Not that I could understand a word he was trying to pronounce but as I stared upon his little face, I couldn't help but whines at the cuts he possessed. Even though poor Ritsuka face was cut and bruised, he still managed to look more adorable than ever, as his head was snuggled into my chest.

When I had finally arrive at the top of the stairs to my apartment, softly moving a arm to reach out for the handle of my apartment, trying hard not to disturb Ritsuka from his sleep, I opened it and entered. All the lights where off, only the shine from the moon in the night sky shun through the window of the kitchen and the bedroom, shining enough light so I could find my way to lay Ritsuka down on the bed, without tripping over anything that blocked my path. It was dead silence; apart from the echo of my feet touching the ground made a sound, not even the wind in the air made a noise.

It hadn't taken long at all to reach my bedroom, only a few meters from the front door, all due to my apartment being so small and all. Coming to the side of my bed, I softly moved Ritsuka, whose face was buried into my chest trying to contain as much heat from my body because of the freezing air on the way home. Trying not to wake nor hurt him, I place his limp body in the middle of the bed. Minus the cut and bruises, he looked adorable the way the moons light shun through the window of my bedroom, directly impacting on his face; somewhat of a fallen angle who needed to be picked back up on his feet again.

Being as quiet as ever, I rushed to the kitchen in search for the first aid box which I needed to help clean and bandage Ritsuka up with. This was becoming increasingly more and more frequent, the aid box continually needed restocking at least every month and the box is now placed in a more convenient place for easy access.

Once I had all I needed I returned to the bedroom, where even in the duration I had been gone, Ritsuka hadn't moved an inch. Placing the aid box on the table beside the bed, I sat next to him gently just in case I would hurt him. Leaning in, I started to unbutton his top. He was still very much asleep not even noticing. This part of my job, I couldn't bear. It's been 3 years now, but still no tie can ever get you used to the fact a poor boy was being abused and there was nothing I could do... well without disobeying Ritsuka's orders. No matter how bad, no matter how often the beatings are, Ritsuka will not let anyone harm his mother. Even if it tears me up inside, I have to obey him, Ritsuka's orders are absolute.

Lifting the lifeless body up into my arms as I slipped Ritsuka shirt off, I laid him back down on the bed, from which I started to clean the blood stain that had dried in the duration of time since I had carried him back to my apartment. Without his shirt on, Ritsuka body was as white as a ghost, pail like a porcelain doll. Even the cut that he processed looked like they had been painted on. I got to work on the cuts once I had cleaned and disinfected them, patching them up with more bandages with the rest that where already there.

"hhhmmm.... y-your handssss are c-c-cold Seimei" Ritsuka whispered in a daze. I was quite surprised, I hadn't heard Ritsuka not once mention Seimei's name, not since that night after Gora. The night was the moment everything became clear to Ritsuka, and also what made him decide his final decision about Seimei and about me as his fighter. It's no wonder he hasn't felt like bringing up the past, it was only a year ago but it was like he knew that he couldn't relay on his big brother any longer, that he needed to stand on his own two feet. From that night onwards, Ritsuka had become more forward and confident within himself. This became quite handy with our fighter unit; we had gotten much stronger than before and hadn't lost a battle since.

Simple ignoring Ritsuka because I know he was talking in his sleep, so I continued to undressed him completely to yet again dress him in a more comfortable and worm clothing to sleep in. Pulling out a long sleeved shirt of mine, placing it smoothly over his arms while buttoning up the buttons one by one as this part of my task had finished. All that was left to do was pull the bed sheets over him and watch over him for the rest of the night.

Cleaning up all the blood stained toils, old bandages and disinfectant, I placed the first aid box back into the kitchen. With no doubt in my mind I'll have to use it again sometime near in the future. Once everything was done it had now turned 3:00am in the morning, time for me to be returning back to Ritsuka's side as I keep an eye on him till he awakes from his sleep. Reaching the side of the bed, taking off my shoes and jacket, I slowly pulled the sheets back while gently slid under right next to Ritsuka's body which was not like a cold corps but instead warm. Still the moons light shun upon his small endearing face with his ears and tail making him look even that little more adorable, like a little kitten. Moving closer to Ritsuka, I wrapped an arm around him trying my hardest to not hurt him or his injuries, while pulling him closer to me so we couldn't share body heart so Ritsuka would get cold during the night. Not once did I close my eyes, yet instead they stayed fixated upon Ritsuka's sleeping face till the morning birds sung for the beginning of the next day.

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"Morning Sou-chan!" a voice screamed as footsteps echoed. There was only one person who's voice this could belong to, no doubt in my mind that he would selfishly barge in without even knocking, Kio you rude basted. Swiftly moving my body quickly but carefully, I emerged from the bed to launch myself at Kio's screaming voice, which echo loudly around the room. The look on his face said it all; Kio knew he had done something wrong, trying his best to struggle backwards away from my hand which was in pursuit to reach out and cover his loud mouth.

"N-NO, So.... Sou-chan, I'm... so... orry!" trying to squirm his way out of my grasp. Darting my eyes back to where Ritsuka was soundly sleeping, he hadn't even noticed the noise, he was still in his deep sleeping slumber in which he had been all night thank god. He hadn't even woken to move position, but then again he probably didn't have the strength to anyway. Pulling Kio's face that was tightly in my grasp; closer so that my lips were only centimetres away from he's ears, in a low but demanding tone that was electrifying. "Kio, who gave you the right to barge in to MY apartment, screaming at the top of your voice?" Kio's whole body stiffened just as I my grip around his mouth tighten as he tried answering.

Kio, my friend, my only friend, alright it wasn't by choices but I have to give it to him, his persistence in trying so hard to get my attention did work off. Though it wasn't his wholehearted friendly personality, it wasn't his outrage looks or charm that attracted me, it was something far more miner. One night after art class, it had been raining and Kio opted for me to stay the night at his; due to the huge amount of downfall and Kio's place was only five minutes away. During my time spent there I had noticed a beautiful tattoo across his back as he came out to get dressed.

"A tattoo...?"

"Huh? I didn't tell you? Yeah, it's just a tattoo. It's not like I was hiding it" Kio said buttoning his shirt up as he got dress. Kio never presented himself to me as one of those types of people to be interested in tattoos but it surly was the one thing that lured me into becoming friends with this guy. That was the foundations of our newly formed friendship, Kio was very pleased.

After the whole fiasco with Kio barging into my apartment, I had told him of the situation at hand and why Ritsuka was laying in my bed all bandaged up and dead asleep.

"Sou-chan, why don't you do anything?"

Oh only if he knew how badly I wanted to, but I couldn't. It's like putting a huge bit of meat in front of a bog through the window but that bog not being able to eat it. Instead of the window being my barrier, its Ritsuka's orders through his words that stop me.

"Because Kio, Ritsuka ordered me not to" I sighed as I handed him a mug or coffee. The irritated on Kio's face was nothing I hadn't seen before; it's more of a memory from years ago when I was Seimei's fighter. Everything Seimei did every act he had done or placed upon my body, Kio hated. He used to continually yell and scream about abuse and everything, but in my eyes it was much different; it was more a mark of ownership. Something Ritsuka hasn't and most likely will never do due to being much like Kio.

"Well Sou-chan, if you're not going to do anything then I might as well just leave. I don't want to hang around someone who would rather watch the person they love be hurt and not do anything about it" Kio said standing up dramatically with rage in his eyes. I wasn't going to stop him, although I knew deep within he was right. Walking towards the door, Kio stop just before he reached for the handle.

"Sou-chan, for Ritsuka's sake don't let this get out of hand!" and with that, Kio left in silence. My eyes averted to Ritsuka's sleeping body as he laid spread out over my bed, I hung my head in shame. It's not that I didn't want to change his situation, living with his mother but it's more the fact I couldn't. If I were to stop his mother violent traits then I would be winning one thing but losing so much more. I just couldn't bear to lose Ritsuka's trust, not now, not that we've come this far and this close, I couldn't throw it away because of disobeying my masters orders. On the other hand, clenching my teeth every time I return him to his mothers care, I dread dearly what the outcome will be every single time. There wasn't much I could do until Ritsuka woke up, so until then I decided to meditate with the silence that consumed the apartment whilst finishing off my paintings for art class so Kio wouldn't be on my back on this as well.

4.00 pm come around and there was still no disturbance from Ritsuka, only a mown, grown or the sound of the sheets being tossed around as he repositioned himself for a more comfortable position. I considered waking the poor child but he looked to adorable to wake, I couldn't bring myself to disturbed him as Ritsuka lay with sweet emotionless expression upon his face. Instead I just laid down beside him in awe of his childlike beauty till he awoke from his slumber.

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first fan fic so sorry if its not that good but the second chapter should be posted up within the next couple of weeks! feedback is more than welcome and any ideas you would like to be imputed into the next chapter feel free to ask =]


	2. Chapter 2

heres chapter 2, sorry it took a while, i found it quite hard to write Soubi's dream section and along with having lots of folio work to do, i didn't get much down time. but its finally done. i will apologizes in advance for my spelling, I've proofed read it to my ability and it seem alright but sorry if theres a few that i haven't picked up.

enjoy reading hope you like!

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CHAPTER 2

What's this place, it echo's with nothing but the sound of my voice. Pitch blackness filed this area, if that's what you can call it. For each foot step I took into the unknown abyss it echoed with the sound of 'tap, tap, tap'. This was surly a dream nothing more. It was strangely cold, how could a place of blackness have an effect on my body if it's a dream? Within a split second there, in front of me, miles away or what seemed miles away was a flicker of light. Stoping dead in my tracks, I notice not only was the flicker of light I had just seen, seemed to be increasing with each tick of second but the increase of the air flow of my surroundings gained considerably as well.

My hair now being flung around harshly due to the wind that now had turned into a stormy front, I braised myself. I was defiantly being consumed within this pit of light, not even my strength bracing myself couldn't compare with how strong the gulping wind, sucking me and my body couldn't withstand it any longer. This was a dream; you can't die in dreams I said to myself. So I admitted defeat as I let my whole body go limp and with that, the light consumed me and my body whole. The light flashed intensely for a split second in front of me and for a brief moment later it was peaceful.

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"Cheep, cheep...cheep cheep" the sounds of birds come to pass as I felt the softness of grass from beneath me. My hands grabbing as many strands of grass between my finders and palm, I ripped from the earth the sweetness of Mother Nature to intake the charming aroma of life itself. As I brought it to my face, I inhaled every little bit of scent that earth had to offer. Finally opening my eyes they were immediately captured by the beauty of the bright blue sky that covered the heaves above me. The clouds themselves, slowly drifting by at their own leisurely pace, while looking immensely white and fluffy, somewhat like a marshmallow.

Although this was much more peaceful and relaxing than what had just come to pass, I still didn't understand what this dream had to convey. Was there even anything to convey? Or is this dream simply just the same as most people have when their content with their live. The sweet, joyful, peaceful and relaxing dreams that people seem to have, all bar me. No. Not once have I ever slipped away in one of those most glorified dream, no once.

"Soubi... Soubi it's nearly time to go home, it will be dark soon" came a voice. A voice I so longed to hear, a voice that I thought was a figment of my imagination but yet this voice, the only voice I never heard after my 6th year of living in this world.

"Father said, if we don't leave now there will be lots of traffic on the way home" with her, this voice that brought me so much joy as a child, there was no mistaking who it belonged to. Sitting up immediately, I saw a mother with her arm wide open ready to lovingly embrace her child as he jumped from the claiming bars of the play ground. The joy in both of their faces was immaculately filled with love. That day I remember painfully clearly as to which it was the day I were to never again see the two most important people who cared for me in a way mother and father should for their child. The image that was being conveyed in my dream all of a sudden started to get all fussy and blurry, somewhat like a TV going out of reception. As this joyful image of my past slowly but defiantly disappeared.

Like a strip of film from a movie role, scenes from my life started flashing by at a rapid speed, and then suddenly stopped. Once again it had turned back to pitch blackness. Now all I could see at this particular moment where a pair of flames dancing in sync with one another. The brilliant colours from the deep rich red and orange the flames collided, dancing simultaneously like an elegant waltz being played out at a high class formal dinner party. Like most things, with beauty follows ugliness, like light attracts dark and untainted attracts tainted. With the elegant waltzing flames dancing in a most beautiful way, was only then being tuned into something I would forever remember, a taunting memory. Imprinting its beauty and darkness into my memory like a scare made from a bullet wound made in combat in which it will never heal.

That night, those flames that stole everything away from me, lead to another chapter in my life that I ended up discovering I would be left along once again and branded as possession owned and used by its master.

"You are to the make a noise or cry, crying is a sigh of weakness" the heat of his whisper in my ear flowed as his 'lesson' with me continued. Ever since Ritsu took me in 6 years ago, straight after my parent's death I was subjected to this special lesion at least once a week. There was no compassion in this man's voice, none from the start. He would always tell me it was for my sake that with these special lesions I would become the best fight any one had seen, but it was done in secret; I was his test subject.

Gritting my teeth as my hands were high against the wall, my eyes filled with tears like a river about to overflow, ready to stained the drought ridden planes of the land. The expression that possessed my face was restraining itself to hold no emotion. It was like I was screaming deep within myself but not one person looked up. With each electrifying, pain staking shock I took, my teeth clenched down even harder. My back had now become numb, but somehow through the numbed nerves of my skin I could still feel the sweet cooling crimson tropes of blood dripping down my back from the result of each blow of the whip.

It may have been four or even seven slashes that had scared my back, the exact number I would later know, but in that exact moment I was too disorientated by pain that still struck through my body like an electric current.

"Good Soubi, each lesson your emotions are getting less and less recognisable" Ritsu's voice came as he smirking whist one of his finger tips lightly traced the sensitive outline of the blood stained scars that now possessed my back. The touch itself, lightly making contact with my agonising lacerations were enough to allow one tear of torture fall pass my tightly clenched eyes that held all the pain I had just experienced from just moments ago.

"What's this, a tear? I thought by now you would have learnt to hold it back, you should be used to it by now Soubi" Ritsu came again, heavily speaking in my ear as his body pressed up against mine which was now pinned against the wall. Now using more than one finger, Ritsu was now running and tracing all the floors on my back as his breath became heavier in my ear.

"You'll never be wanted Soubi, everyone will cast you aside like their rubbish, your worth NOTHING" that word 'nothing' struck me like a lightning bolt. It echoed as all my surrounding obscurely disappeared and I was left once again with nothing but the echo of the heart wrenching word 'nothing' as the black abyss surrounded me. This dream was surly more unusual than my typical ones, but not by far. Even though Ritsu never truly said those words to me, my mind persisted to create its own story, twisting the real memory.

As the word nothing still echoed in the blackness of the abyss, strips of scene from my past started circling around me once again. I felt like I was being taken for a ride. Many voices and faces come surfacing to the foreground as scenes continued to spin rapidly around as voices from people in my life all saying the same thing, repeating it like a chant.

"You're worth nothing..."

"YOU'RE worth NOTHING..."

"YOU'RE WORHT NOTHING!" as the screaming, echoing taunting voices chanted, I couldn't take it anymore.

"Leave me the FUCK ALONG" I screamed back to the chanting sounds that were swarming through my head as I gripped my ear, trying to block out as much of the screaming as possible. The noise kept coming and by this point in time I had fallen to my knees still firmly gripping my hands over my ears. The emotions that I had successfully locked and hidden away, like a ship that had gone down during battle, sinking to the very depths of the ocean floor never to be found, started to surfers. My heart felt like it was ripping into two pieces, I wasn't sure how much longer I could take this. Wake up Soubi, I kept saying to myself, I didn't want this dream to last anymore; I wanted to be back by Ritsuka's side.

When I had immediately notice all the circling scenes of my past fade away and the voices drifting off into the black abyss, getting softer until I could no longer hear them. I unclenched my hands from my ears, thinking it was safe, but I was wrong. All of sudden like a projector, projecting a movie on the blank silk screen Seimie's face appeared. His eye's resembled the evil that had stained his innocents long ago. His soul had not one good intention within him, he only ever did things that he wanted or that would benefit him. As Seimei's face captured my gaze, I was being held hostage within his stare. Even though I wanted to avert my eyes, I wanted to wake up from this fucked up dream, I couldn't. Even within my dreams he still had power over me. With the unbreakable gaze between Seimei and I, along with the silence that now dwelled in this black abyss Seimei's voice came filled with hatred and blackness which stained his words.

"You were only a pawn in my chess game, you were worth NOTHING" there is came again, the word nothing. The word said by Seimei struck me like a deer in headlights, couldn't move, couldn't speak and couldn't ever blink. Although my body was frozen, on the inside of my mind I was screaming at the top of my lungs, punching and thrashing within my subconscious trying to break free. My heart was being ripped, torn and ever twisted along with my involuntary feelings that I had hidden away for so long, all due to my subconscious. Before I had even the time to notice, Seimei's face had faded away, blending itself to the endless dark that seemed to never culminate.

As my body stayed frozen in its position a flicker of light appeared once more, just like the one that had sucked me into the pits of my memories that resembled hell itself. The wind once again started to steadily increases as I knew I was being dragged once more through this whole. Floating through the bright light that was now overtaking the blackness, all my feeling and worries I deemed to face before were now being washed away. Like Mother Nature's tears, it felt like rain washing away all emotions, or more the fact making me numb to it all. I knew they were there, yet I couldn't connect with them at this point as the light wrapped tightly around my mind and soul, shielding me. All I could think now, was wanting to be comforted by Ritsuka. No one can take him away from me, no one. Right now I just want to wrap my arms around his angelic features and lose myself in his lovingly embrace.

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My body sprung up from the warm bed as I tried desperately gasping for air. All my senses were over loading, my mind running a million miles a second as my eyes darted back and forth across the room. It was still light, my body eased I little as I raised a hand to my head. Thanks to my dreadful nightmare I noticed my whole body had become hot and clammy. I had to laugh to myself, how a dream could get me so uptight afterwards.

As I wiped my forehead free of the sweet that was produced from my startling dream, I moved my other hand that was supporting my weight on the mattress to where Ritsuka was sleeping... well so I thought. Feeling around, I quickly notice he's body wasn't anywhere to be felt. My heart started to beat fast and fast as my jolting reaction of my head turning around to double check my conclusion. He wasn't there, where was he? Did somebody come and take him?

Just like when I woke up, all my senses were reacting again. As my eyes widened, they also darted once again around the room looking for any signs as to if he was stolen, But there was none. Everything was still positioned like I had left them the night before, the night I brought Ritsuka back.

Trying to calm myself down, trying to stop myself from thinking the worst situation, I slipped myself up and out from the sheets as I fumbled around for a shirt. Once I was standing, slipping a blue shirt on, I pulled it up my arms and over my shoulders to cover the scars made from many years ago. For the years I've known Ritsuka I've avoided any situation that would result in him seeing them, otherwise he would asking about the past. He didn't need to know, nor did I really want to tell him or anyone. The only person who knew was Seimei himself and Nagisa-sensei. Of course there were rumours around the school about Ritsu's special treatment with me but no one really knew what happened.

Slowing and regulating my breathing I stopped and listened to my surroundings. From the birds cheeping outside and the sound of the wind whistling through the leave, I honed my hearing to within the apartment. Every shortly after a few seconds of listening I had noticed the sound of water trickling from the bathroom. For a split instance I relaxed but not completely, I had to see who it was, make sure it was just Ritsuka. Still being on my guard I slowly moved down the hall to which the sound of water, somewhat like a waterfall becoming clear. The sight of steam flowed from the crack of the door. When I had reached the door it wasn't completely shut, from what I could see the whole bathroom was filled with steam.

Grasping for the handle, I slowly opening the door that separated me and whoever was taking a bath in my apartment. Now entering the bathroom, my sight was hazed not being able to see more than 4 steps in front of me. Squinting as I continued to move towards the screen which covered the bath trying not to slip nor make a noise. I want to attack or surprise whoever was in here, depending on who the certain person was. As the screen had now come into eye sight, I noticed a small shadow. First, second and with the third step closer to the screen the shadow was now dominate. Once I noticed the small ear with the movement of a tail surfacing above the water my body relaxed.

A grin appeared swiftly across my face as all my worried disappeared, melting away like ice as the radiant heat from the sun shunned down turning it to cool flowing water. Deep down, relieved to know that Ritsuka was safe I still had this hurtful throbbing attack my emotions. Closing my eyes to grasp control, metal images from the other night cut even deeper. Just knowing how bad his injuries are, made me want to hold him firmly even more, hold him close so that not one soul could harm him physically and mentally.

Kneeling down on the cool bathroom floor I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I just needed to see him, even if it meant being yelled at for entering his private bath time and most likely being called a pervert; like he always does in his sweet aggravated angry way which seems to be more beautiful through my eyes. Ritsuka's emotions are probably what attracted me most towards his shy but yet angry nature, they always put me off guard whilst always being uninspected which were always exhilarating. As I opened the screen it only took a split second before the usual come streaming out of Ritsuka's mouth.

"WHAT! What the hell are you doing coming in here? You pervert, get OUT" Ritsuka yelled trying to slip even further under the water trying to cover himself from my sight. Of curse the attempt was defiantly a failure due to the fact that water is a transparent substance, but to make him feel less uncomfortable I held my gaze upon only that of he's sweet porcelain like face. Within the split second of opening the screen to the bath, I couldn't help but capture the sight of his poor injuries from beneath the waters surfs. The feeling of Goosebumps came over me at the dreadful sight. I managed to contain a straight face with only the emotions of joy upon my face to reinsure Ritsuka that I didn't see nor would bring up the situation. Leaning against the side of the tub with my arms, I couldn't help but sit quietly smiling as I took in the adorable futures of my sacrifice.

"What you smiling about Soubi? You really are strange on top of being a pervert" averting his eyes as a soft shade of ruby red begun to blossom across his smooth pail cheeks. This was enough for my grin to grow bigger across my face as I raised a hand to his wet hair, as I ruffled it about I then softly started to stock his cat ears.

"Oh nothing I just really wanted to see you, that's all" I came as my hand slowly moved from his soft ears to cub his face. By this time, the cheeks that were a soft ruby red before were now intensifying into a deep crimson red. Noticing not only the cheeks red but his ears were dropped and his tail was wagging more and more the longer I left my hand upon his beautiful face, he was defiantly embarrassed. Now knew that he was safe I wasn't going to subject him to being embarrassed, well not at this point in time. Usually I loved taking advantage of his emotions and embarrassing him because it was defiantly satisfying seeing how shy he gets when I do something toward him, but not now, not this time.

"Oh wow look at that, it's nearly dinner time... I'll go make tea" smiling as I picked myself up from the cold floor never losing contact with Ritsuka's face, whilst he continued blushing as he avoided any eye contact with me. A little giggle past my lips as I headed for the door, he truly is adorable.

"Don't laugh at me Soubi... you old pervert" there it was again his sweet aggravated voice come about as I walked down the hall way. It had now gotten darker; the hall itself was filled with shadows. Guess I shell turn the lights on, thinking to myself also considering what to create for dinner, I couldn't wipe the smile off my face from Ritsuka's reactions, though I knew it wouldn't last too much longer.

.

.

.

The fry pan was making quite a lot of noise as I prepare dinner for the two of use. Surly Ritsuka would be hungry; he hadn't eaten anything since yesterday. I guess that's what happens when you sleep most of the day totally worn out and in pain from the previous night. Tonight I was going to try my very hardest to keep Ritsuka from going back to his mother, although I can't totally control what he does, I'm going to at least try. When we both site down, I think it would be the best opportunity to raise the situation. I can't stand having him go through the torment of his mother's illness, he doesn't deserve it.

"Soubi..." come Ritsuka's small but elegant voice from my bedroom. I turned down the fry pan so I could hear his voice more clearly.

"Soubi... can you please help me with something..." he trailed off in a shy manner before his sentence was finished, although I didn't need to hear the ending. Placing the cooking aside and turning off the stove, I immediately walked towards my room in the apartment to where his voice came from. The door was slightly waged open leaking the light from within the room, giving the illusion that the light was much brighter than normal against the darkness of the hall way.

"Yes, what can I help you with" murmuring as I swiftly opened the door to a scene that would stop me dead in my tracks. As I had entered I was faced with a boy's fragile little body propped up on my bed, back tuned to the door way with inflictions upon his back, side and front. My eyes widened, he wasn't wearing anything but his pants, his torso free from any material covering his pale skin. I could see that the bath had assisted a little with cleaning up the redness around the deeper wound, but still the sight was unbearable. Ritsuka, this boy's porcelain like face turned, nothing else just his head. Raising up to look back at me over his shoulder, his face looked like it was in so much pain and his emotion captured shame deep within.

"Soubi, can you help bandage me up... I can't quite get the ones on my back" shame along with embarrassment flushed upon his face as his eye averted back to the wall in front of him. My eye half closed, I couldn't show how much revulsion I had for his mother, nor could I show my weakness of seeing him in this condition. I had to be the strong one, for me and Ritsuka both.

"Yes, but of course" simply nodding as I made my way over to the bed to where Ritsuka was situated. When I had reached the side of the bed I softly lowered myself down right behind his small delicate back the blossomed with ruby red cuts and deep sea blue bruises. I took this opportunity to trace my fingers over the blemishes the stained his back oh so very lightly, trying not to inflict any more pain that he already had. With only just on touch I felt Ritsuka's body tense all over along with raising Goosebumps upon the bear skin.

"Soubi..." Ritsuka said in a low but embarrassed tone in his voice that got half chocked. He wanted to say more, but the Goosebumps or was it the touch the chocked him from continuing? Whatever it was he didn't delay any longer in finished what he intended to say.

"Thank you so much for saving me last night, I don't know what would have happened if you weren't there" he said with sadness in his tone. I defiantly knew what would have happened, something I don't quite think Ritsuka fully acknowledge. Lowering my head as the word 'thank you' came out of the sweet boy's mouth I gently touched my lips upon his shoulder blade, over a cut that was on its way to healing. Once again, just like the touch before Ritsuka's body tensed even more with the contact of my lips stroke the smoothness of his shoulder blade.

"I'm your fighter unit, I was reborn to serve and protect you no matter what, I'll always be there when you fall, and if you ever do fall I shell to" kissing him once more, now on the side of his neck. Even without seeing his face, I knew it was blushing a violent crimson red across his cheek. I couldn't help but smile.

* * *

i know i stopped it at a gussy party but it will continue, just hold on, i promise more and more gussy parts. stay tuned =]


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